*****

beep beep swaggie bro

i’ll never delete my tumblr so when my kids are like “ugh MOM u don’t understand”, i’ll show them my tumblr so they can realize i was once young & laughed at dick jokes

Hanging out with @surrahhhhsmith and #skrillex

jeou:

have you ever been disappointed upon discovering whats for dinner

because i have

bitterboob:

chrisynova:

best response to a sexist boyfriend

this movie tho

milktree:

I only feel important when you talk to me. I can never sit still. I think of all the ways my starving hands will touch you.

richwhitelesbian:

we need some new and more powerful swears

sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles

onehornyworld:

Why play with yourself when you can play with me?

lameborghini:

life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house

meancutie:

my preferred pronouns are babygirl and princess

shake-down1979:

found these adorable newborn rat pups when I was cleaning my yard.

scribblenauts:

when people say that they read a book before it became popular by becoming a movie